LME041 – How To Earn Respect As A Leader

Today, we’re diving into a crucial topic for every leader: respect.

How do you earn respect as a leader—from your boss, your peers, and your team? And, more importantly, how do you sustain it?

respect

respect

A New Leadership Challenge

Imagine this: You’ve just been promoted to team lead. Congratulations! It’s an exciting step with more freedom and responsibility. But as you celebrate, a nagging question pops into your mind:

“Will my team respect me? Yesterday, I was one of them—today, I’m their manager.”

This is a common concern for new leaders. It’s also the right question to ask.

Being confident in your abilities is important, but confidence alone won’t earn you respect. You need to think critically about what respect truly means and how it’s earned.

Respect Is Not the Same as Politeness

Let’s start with a misconception: respect is not politeness.

You can be polite to someone without respecting them. Politeness is an outward behavior—respect, however, comes from within. It’s earned when people believe you’ve done something deserving of recognition.

Here’s the key:

Respect can’t be demanded—it must be earned.

So how do you do that, especially as a new leader? I believe it comes down to three essential traits:

  • Clarity: Being clear and communicating with clarity
  • Trust: Being consistently reliable
  • Decisiveness: Make and Stand by your decisions

Clarity: Know Yourself and Your Role

The foundation of respect is clarity—about yourself, your role, and your expectations. Let’s break this down.

Self-Awareness

First, you need to truly know yourself—your strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals. In English, the term “self-awareness” captures this beautifully. Self-aware leaders project confidence without arrogance. They walk into a room and command attention, not because they demand it, but because they are centered and balanced.

Think of someone you know who exudes this presence. They’re not loud or overbearing; they simply radiate calm authority. That’s the power of clarity about oneself.

Understanding Expectations

Clarity also means understanding the expectations tied to your role. For instance:

  • What does your boss expect from you?
  • What do your peers and employees expect?
  • Are these expectations realistic, and can you align them with your goals?

If you’re unsure, ask. Clarity in expectations prevents misunderstandings and builds a solid foundation for respect.

Trust: Be Consistently Reliable

Respect and trust go hand in hand. If people can’t trust you, they won’t respect you. But trust isn’t always easy to earn.

A Story of Broken Trust

Let me share an example. A newly promoted manager promises an employee a raise after six months of exceptional performance. The employee works hard, meets all their goals, and overdelivers. But when the time comes, the manager says:

“Unfortunately, the company is cutting budgets. I can’t approve your raise.”

How do you think the employee feels? Betrayed. Worse, this story spreads to their colleagues:

“My manager’s promises mean nothing.”

Keeping Promises

If you make a promise, keep it—even if it’s difficult. In situations like the one above, you might need to go above and beyond. For example:
“Mr. Smith, I made you a promise. I can’t get the company to approve your raise right now, but I’m going to keep my word. I’ll personally pay you an additional $100 per month for the next year.”

This approach isn’t easy, but it shows integrity. It says, “I take my commitments seriously.” Employees will respect you for owning your mistakes and doing your best to make things right.

Decisiveness: Make and Stand by Your Decisions

As a leader, you’ll face countless decisions—some easy, some tough. Your ability to make decisions confidently and take responsibility for them is critical to earning respect.

Avoiding Indecision

Indecision is a leadership killer. If you delay choices, waiting for the perfect moment or complete information, you’re effectively handing over your power to circumstances—or worse, to someone else.

Remember: even not deciding is a decision. And often, it’s the worst one.

Facing Unpopular Decisions

Sometimes, you’ll need to make decisions that won’t win you any popularity contests. For example:

  • A critical project is behind schedule. To meet the deadline, you require your team to work overtime, including weekends.
  • The delay wasn’t their fault—it stemmed from overpromising by the sales team.

Explaining the “why” behind your decision is vital:

“I understand this isn’t ideal, but this project is crucial for our client relationship and our company’s future. I’m asking for your extra effort this weekend, and I appreciate your understanding.”

In the short term, your team might be upset. But if you communicate transparently and consistently, they’ll respect your leadership in the long run.

Why Respect Matters

Earning respect isn’t about being liked or avoiding conflict. It’s about being fair, consistent, and courageous in your decisions. When your team respects you, they’re more likely to:

  • Trust your judgment.
  • Align with your vision.
  • Go the extra mile when it matters most.

Respect isn’t a title or a demand—it’s a daily commitment. It’s built through clarity, trust, and decisiveness.